Petang semalam. Lagi 3 minit nak balik. Akak mencuri masa skit akak nak membebel. Then akak sambung lagi pagi ni selepas bacaan yasin. Every Thursday we recite Yasin before we start doing our works.
Alhamdulillah. Akak dah sampai KPI akak and doesnt mean akak boleh rilex2. Akak masih buat keje. Akak lani tengah siapkan fail untuk tahun depan. Actually kalau file yang susah2 akak kena take a bit long time jadi kalau nak keluarkan 2 file sebulan ( fail yang susah) agak mustahil la. So, why not akak struggle awal sikit...
Akak nak bercerita.
Tiba2 akak teringat majlis persaraan pengarah akak semalam. Semasa ucapan pembukaan, dia sebut sengsorang nama pegawai yang dia ingat... Of course la nama akak tak disebut even akak duk depan sekali.
Throughout of my life,as I can remember... akak tak pernah jadi favourite sesapa. Never got any limelight from anyone. Bos ke, cikgu ke, lecturer ke or even kawan2...so apatah lagi pengarah. They were never notice akak. Akak kind of people who is very low profile, try to avoid any limelight and it maybe because of my personalities as well...
Pernah akak ingat.. during one perhimpunan staff kat dewan and akak sat at the first row and the director that time sat on the stage facing us. Then the majlis went very well and akak perasan that pengarah tengok kat akak then dia bisik dengan orang sebelah dia. Akak not remember dah sapa. But long after the majlis, ada kawan akak sampaikan... dia cakap. Pengarah tanya, akak ni siapa. Sebab dia tak penah nampak akak before. See?? how pathetic kan akak ni...
To be honest, sometimes akak rasa down jugak when akak actually orang tak perasan pun... akak ada ke takde sama saja.
But I always persuade myself. Just be myself tak payah pretend and try to be like others. There are the strenghs and goodness behinds that.
And after this akak will changed the panggilan AKAK to IBU. Just hoping my kids will read this blog when they grow up anf I want them to know what I feel inside taht I never told them.
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